Boys imitate what they see. If what they see is emotional distance, guardedness, and coldness between men they will grow up to imitate that behavior…What do boys learn when they do not see men with close friendships, where there are no visible models of intimacy in a man’s life beyond his spouse?

- Kindlon and Thompson, Raising Cain

"The poses, facial expressions, and body language of the men below will strike the modern viewer as very gay indeed. But it is crucial to understand that you cannot view these photographs through the prism of our modern culture and current conception of homosexuality. The term ‘homosexuality’ was in fact not coined until 1869, and before that time, the strict dichotomy between ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ did not yet exist. Attraction to, and sexual activity with other men was thought of as something you did, not something you were. It was a behavior — accepted by some cultures and considered sinful by others. […]

Whether the men below were gay in the way our current culture understands that idea, or in the way that they themselves understood it, is unknowable. What we do know is that the men would not have thought their poses and body language had anything at all to do with that question. What you see in the photographs was common, not rare; the photos are not about sexuality, but intimacy.”

Source: Bosom Buddies: A Photo History of Male Affection, by Brett & Kate McKay

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”


A wonderful talk concerning the pejorative use of the word “gay.” 

I just realized that on this blog about gay spirituality (though recently it’s been pretty much just gay) I’ve never addressed the issue of “coming out.” Obviously, at some point, there will be a much more in-depth post (add that one to the growing list). But for now, I give you this instructional video. It’s animated, for your short attention span’s convenience.

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The Good Fairy

The young gay man's guide to freelance spirituality.